Most people think that melancholics are inconsolable whiners who are always depressed. Is it true? If so, what advantages can melancholics have? If not, then who are they?
Who is a melancholic?
Melancholic is an inert (passive) type of temperament, which is characterized by high sensitivity, emotionality, anxiety, good creative abilities, but a weak nervous system. Such people are introverts, they dislike noisy parties or large crowds, instead preferring quiet evenings devoted to reading, drawing and other calm hobbies. Often melancholics are thoughtful and closed.
Characteristics of melancholics
Outward traits include:
- Soft, inexpressive speech, sometimes with defects
- Weak mimicry, the corners of the lips and eyes are often turned down
- Slow, sluggish, hesitant movements
- Closed body language (arms crossed on the chest or hidden in pockets)
- Nondescript appearance in general (clothes, makeup, etc.)
Melancholics are indecisive, wary of change often live “in the past.” They are very emotional but prefer to keep everything bottled up inside. However, it is not always possible for them to keep their feelings contained. Any little thing can knock them off balance. Under all their external slowness, they house a real typhoon inside.
They may burst into tears when criticized. Even a soft, constructive, but negative evaluation, suppresses their rare enthusiasm. Only praise can motivate a melancholic.
Watching a sad or touching movie, seeing a suffering animal, or receiving an unexpected pleasant gift, can move a melancholic to tears. Anyway, this does not mean that melancholics cry all the time and complain about life. Rather, they exist in a state of mild nostalgic sadness. And … they draw inspiration from it.
This quiz will help you determine what type of temperament you have.
There are many melancholics among artists, writers, sculptors, musicians, and other creative people. These people have a colorful imagination, developed intuition and resourcefulness. They love to create something new and literally draw energy from their creations.
Melancholics can see and appreciate beauty. They notice the subtlest points, that are elusive to other temperaments. Such a person can find inspiration in even the most ordinary things. They are sensitive and responsive to all kinds of art.
Melancholics love to think, analyze and draw conclusions. Higher mathematics, detective stories or philosophical questions are very interesting to them. They like to solve crosswords, read and search for answers to logical puzzles. They think things through carefully before taking the next step.
Such individuals absorb new information quickly. This allows them to attain acquired skills for a long time. Because of this, they make good teachers and trainers.
Since melancholics are quite emotional, they understand the true depth of feelings. Such personalities are ready to listen, support and feel other people’s emotions. The inner world — their own and others — is extremely important and significant for them.
Melancholics can be affected by the feelings of others for a long time. They are kind, love to help, and do so sincerely and gratuitously. This is the person who donates to charity, feeds homeless animals and rarely refuses requests.
The melancholic is well-versed in people’s real nature. Thanks to their intelligence and understanding of others’ emotions, they see through others. This does not mean that the melancholic chooses only the “best of the best.” Just a couple of hours is usually enough for them to assess the main qualities of a new acquaintance — even if the person pretends to be someone else.
Melancholic people are the first who notice when something suddenly goes wrong. This applies to relationships, business affairs and health. Their keen observation and good intuition help them with this.
Melancholics love to pretend to be victims. Like cholerics, they often get offended over trivialities. However, unlike the last cholerics, melancholics are grudge-holders; it is difficult for them to “forgive and forget.” They remember the negative actions and they accumulate and build insider of them for years — like a snowball. It appears that they do not want to release these toxic emotions.
In rare cases, melancholics seeks revenge. But as a rule, their isolation and indecision do not allow them to actually carry it out.
Melancholics are pessimists. It is difficult for them to find excuses for joy, but their sadness may manifest with or without sadness. They are afraid of many things, and approach them too seriously, cautiously and with distrust and apprehension. Melancholics are prone to phobias.
Mild criticism or innocent jokes turn into a profound insult to them. Something that the sanguine considers a joke, the choleric forgets in a second, and the phlegmatic even doesn’t notice, deeply offends the melancholic.
Dependence on the opinions of others
Often, melancholics are stubborn, inclined to consider their opinion especially important and sometimes, irreplaceable. At the same time, they suffer from low self-esteem. It is this trait that does not allow them to perceive constructive criticism in a healthy manner.
- If the melancholic is praised, they flourish and are ignited with excitement. Sometimes they continue to do something they do not like just to receive another dose of compliments and recognition.
- If the melancholic is criticized (even mildly), they get depressed and stops trying. they may refuse their favorite job just because they think they are incompetent. (Although this is not true.)
Melancholics have a contradictory quality — perfectionism. On the one hand, melancholics try to do any work the best that they can. They develop their skills and come up with creative solutions in order to perform at their highest level. On the other hand, they often get frustrated because of the impossibility to attain the ideal. In addition, they are very critical not only of themselves, but of others, as well. And this does not always have a positive effect on melancholics’ relationships with other people.
The melancholic child
A melancholic child loves to learn new things. If they succeed in avoiding severe stress and conflicts, then the desire to learn is sustained until graduation. They often enjoy all subjects; it largely depends on the teacher. Such a child prefers lessons where the teacher provides them with the opportunities to:
- Think deeply and methodically about new information
- Work independently and not in a team
- Choose exercises to perform alone
- Be seated in the back of the classroom
Despite their academic achievements, melancholic children are afraid to raise their hands to answer questions. They do not tolerate “brainstorming,” tire quickly and easily lose concentration. Usually, they do not like physical education, especially if they have a lean body with weak muscles.
Like the adult, melancholic child does not seek to be in the center of attention. Instead, they prefer to be alone. They are slow to friends because it is hard for them to get quickly close with others and they often lose them because of their tendency towards docileness. However, after making friends and opening up to them, melancholics appreciate the friendships a lot.
Melancholics are not inclined to change friends frequently and are 100% loyal to them. As a rule, they have no more than two close friends throughout their childhood.
The melancholic child is extremely susceptible to the opinions of peers and teachers and they may become a victim of bullying. At the same time, they do not tell their parents if something happens to them at school.
Some associates will try to stir the melancholic up. However, this will lead to the child withdrawing even deeper. Parents should better monitor the child’s behavior and notice any changes.
The melancholic’s career
The melancholic leader is an exceptional rarity. Usually, they choose the position of subordinate. Creative professions (artist, designer, confectioner) or work that requires analytical thinking (scientist, accountant, programmer) are the most suitable for melanholics. They like to ask questions about the meaning of life and help others. It makes them feel needed and meaningful. Therefore, a teacher, a nurse (but not a doctor), a nanny or a psychologist are also frequent career choices of melancholics.
It is hard for the melancholic to tolerate:
- Fast-paced work, huge responsibility, risk
- Tensions in a work team, conflicts, drama
- Long continual work (short pauses every 2-3 hours are needed)
- Ongoing cooperation (individual work is more efficient)
- Instability, changeability (prefers a fixed payment, values insurance and other benefits)
However, such an employee is indispensable in situations related to creativity, calculations, forecasting, assimilation of new information and understanding of human emotions and thoughts.
Melancholics and relationships
Usually, the melacholic is monogamous. They are faithful, devoted and ready to help, even if it is harmfully to them. And, they expect the same from their partner.
For melancholic, emotional intimacy is very important. It is important for them to hear, feel, see that they are loved. They are constantly seeking confirmation of this. The end of the early courting period is difficult for melancholics, as it seems to them that their partner’s feelings are fading away.
Despite the need for emotional support, melancholics sometimes like to be in solitude. The main thing is not to let them be alone for a long time, otherwise it can result in depression. Melancholics do not like to quarrel, but they may start to cry, simply because they had a dream about betrayal.
In relationships, melancholics:
- Are very romantic, but hide it, although they appreciate all the actions of their partner
- Always expect something to go wrong in a relationship; are afraid to lose a loved one
- Considers it their duty to please another person, forgetting about themselves
- Try to hang on to the relationship at all costs, because they get very attached to their spouse
- Selects partners with strong personalities because they like to be feel cared for and safe
- Do not seek one-night-stands, prefer stability
The melancholic parent is demanding, but kindhearted; it is hard for them to see children’s tears. They try to make their child better and given them everything. Problems with children often arise because of excessive criticism (or leniency) from the melancholic parent.
The melancholics’ health (psychosomatics)
The most vulnerable point of the melancholic is the nervous system. Weak stress resistance makes them susceptible to any disease. The greatest number of strokes are suffered by melancholics.
Another problem area is the lungs. Because of the tendency to keep their emotions inside, melancholics suffer from asthma, chest pain and cough.
The most obvious diseases of the melancholic are problems with their posture. They often have scoliosis, kyphosis and slouch. Due to the incorrect position of the vertebras, their nerves and vessels are pinched. This leads to neurological problems, such as headaches, dizziness and fainting.
Melancholics and other types of temperament
Two melancholics are a creative-emotional tandem. They understand each other at a glance, appreciate the personal space needs of each other, and are tactful and faithful. However, this is not the best combination for the love affair. Their joint life is a Shakespearean tragedy. These people ignore or suppress their problems, which do not go away, but only get bigger. In the end, they suffer together, and each of them sees it and blame themselves.
Melancholics are perfectly combined in friendship and work. This is an ideal union of like-minded soul mates. They support each other, help them express their emotions and open up.
This is a promising love affair. Such a marriage is promising. Next to an active, but not overly energetic sanguine, the melancholic rarely falls into a bad mood. They learn to enjoy life and to see the positive. There will be no cardinal changes in the melancholic, but they will try to stay with the patronizing sanguine until the end.
The melancholic-sanguine friendship also turns out great. The melancholic takes inspiration from the sanguine and often consults with them
But, there may be problems at the workplace. Morose melancholic employees do not like the fact that their cheerful sanguine colleague constantly rushes them and tried to offload their onto work onto them.
This is a calm, smooth relationship, and even ideal in the work area. But there is one problem. The phlegmatic saddens the melancholic with his outward indifference. Because of this, the melancholic constantly worries. However, if they get used to the calmness of their phlegmatic partner and tries to understand it, then everything will work out in the best way.
The friendship of melancholics and phlegmatics quickly disintegrates. They just can’t get interested each other. This causes communication to disintegrate into nothing.
This is dangerous combination. Very often, these individuals simply hate each other. The melancholic gets irritated by excessive activity, assertiveness, and sometimes tactlessness and insolence of the choleric. Melahcholics try to avoid cholerics, and if they fail, they build up grievances and tell the choleric off. (In their imagination, of course.) Because melancholics crumble in choleric’s presence, they literally can’t squeeze a word.
Such a couple may dive in a romantic relationship, but most likely, it will be short-lived.
The melancholic is a complicated personality. On the one hand, they are difficult to communicate with because of their standoffishness, critical nature and pessimism. On the other hand, they can be called complex, because they are extremely diverse and multifaceted, which makes them interesting. If you learn how to see the positive aspects of a melancholic, they will be able to teach you a lot. And if you support them and cherish them, they become an excellent friend and partner.